Saturday, October 27, 2012

Kill the blues!!!

After two days away from Big Bang… I’m still not back to my old habits of finding again other kpop things to be busy with and to move on somehow. I remember myself after the concert schedule in the Philippines has been confirmed I was oh so reluctant and unsure of what ticket to buy. It was a month before “The Day” that we decided to buy the Upperbox tickets. I bought it along with friends; some sums still come from Naga wherein some surprising friends even bought the 7k seats. Snap! Money gone for every Big Bang fan.

The ear to ear smiles after buying the tickets!!! It was like I'm poorer than usual but for sure I'll do fine.

A weekend before the concert:

This has been such a long wait for me and my friends for which led us to have a sleepover in a friend’s house to design our very own fan boards and crown headbands. We’re really up for the challenge to make the boys happier while on stage.

I even design my own VIP t-shirt! Hehehe 
Define "design", I just cut and paste the art from  and do some overlapping of monstrous things in a word doc. No sweat and viola~ Got myself a unique shirt for my awaited concert! BIG BANG!!! 

As promised, THEY'LL BE BACK. 

Finally, it's October 24th!!! Ottoeke? 

NO Recap at all since I simply party like there's no more day to come for me. THIS IS HOW WE DO IT DURING THE ALIVE TOUR PH.

Whenever I look at him, that smile never leaves his angelic face!
 (No more as a Dumber dongsaeng!!!)  
Daesung-ah!!! Annyeong!!! (Wings Performance)
TOP loves to play with Daesung so much that he even poured him water on stage.
awww! Meee Tooo Tabi~ 
GD is pleased by us!!! (I'm just insinuating the pic!)
GD to himself: This crowd is amazing! But I can't convey my true feelings in English, Filipinos are known to be good at it  and I'm afraid my image will be at stake so I better be cool and be silent but please don't get me wrong and hope my simple gesture can get through to you all. 
MAHAL KO TALAGA KAYO! Alam nyo yan! 
(nag tagalog pa oh~)

Reason Behind: Nauntog lng naman si GD while on the elevator like stage that's why he had a redness in his forehead if you've noticed. Bad trip? Could be but he's a pro so it's not a big deal during a concert for the VIP. 

(again, I'm just speaking in behalf of his sore forehead) 

Taeyang doesn't know what he's doing or did he just read everyone's mind
that we all wanted TOP to do some aegyo before the show ends?!!

TOP: mahal ko kayoo~
(then the crowd gone wild)

We're indeed a VIP since Dara unnie is also watching along with the crew near the VVIP area.

Seungri Victory in Strong Baby.
Need to say more... Perhaps a stag party for that Wedding Dress. ahhah!
That flipping of wet hair is expected from these two. hahahayyy...
When TOP gets a lot of teasing from Daesung and GD while doing his parts.
awwww! YUNG DIMPLES!!!
(Augh! KIll me now I'm thinking of something Suju and Shinee! Assure me! They won't kiss~)

Yeah! That was Big Bang before my very eyes!!! 

After an hour nap this is how I look on my way to the office. Giggling all by myself, reminiscing what happened last night... even biting my lip just to hide my overflowing happiness~ 

Even rapping TOP parts in Knock Out and Fantastic Baby during office hours.

But a few hours after knowing they'll be leaving for Malaysia...A sudden outburst, I could've caught GD's jacket if I got a seat in VVIP!!! 

BIG BANG WAS AWESOME!!! Taeyang is very generous with his abs. Daesung keeps smiling like an angel that I can almost see a halo above his head.

GD keeps on a standby on all sides of the stage where I could have been seated. Seungri is unsuspectingly playful with us, audience if I could have just brought a panda I will surely trade my stuff just to be recognized by him among the crowd. 

And TOP he just stood there but almost made me faint for so many times from his gaze. Awww! VVIP why didn't I pursue to have you.
2-3 days has passed, I'm still singing my blues! 3 posts of Big Bang experience on this blog is a no sweat for me now~ 2 days solid playing of my Big Bang playlist is not my thing. I do variations but whhhhyyy do I feel robbed after they flew?! ahhhhhhhh!!! I CAN'T GET OVER! @Lord make it Oct. 24th again~ 

*Photo/gif credit goes to the owners. I don't own any of them.


Thoughts alone...

On a contrary to my excitement, as a concert goer I have my own regrets like since I already took my leave from work today I can at least do some extra effort to get to know the boys deeper like search their backgrounds and how they started but instead I got stacked with U-know Yunho’s ice skating performances in Kiss and Cry episodes… and again I was almost late and haven’t get to have the freebie, blue light bracelet. O-ow~ since I happened to wait for hours in a salon to get my nails done to at most act the VIP feel all over me. So though I hate to regret the things I didn't do... I just kept the spirit in me and party like a VIP since it's great song after a great one. Tastefully done Big Bang!!!

Here’s how we look during the concert~

Not surprised why Joseph Bitangcol was around... ehem! Is Dara confirming something here? Joseph looks teary eyed eh~ mnnn closure?!?!? told you! #DARAGON

Should be "Jagiya!! I'm Still Alive!" but only this remained after my all out cheering.

Also buying the Upperbox seat and choosing an undesirable one which is almost the side view of the stage that I’m seeing is a could have been one epic fail if I didn't mustered up my courage along with a cool, now-party-animal friend, Nysh to change location.

Thus after the concert we summed up our reviews and here’s the one of a kind thing we came up with…

We're getting crazier more than ever @BIGBANG. So next time you'll visit Manila it will be fantastic baby!!! #MABUHAYBIGBANG

After the BIG BANG Galaxy Alive Tour PH these were the sentiments of the half awake – half monster like VIPs in Tweeter.

How can I not ignore these tweets when I couldn't agree more~

i need to catch on some sleep now, gotta wake up in 3hrs, etteokke!#AliveTourManila #BigBang #MABUHAYBigBang I'll be in VIP next time!

off to sleep if i can sleep with what happened today. LOL#BIGBANGinMANILA #AliveTourManila #MabuhayBIGBANG

#MABUHAYBIGBANG Bigngu TOP is ALive Last night... Hoot hoot...


#ALIVETOURPH #MABUHAYBIGBANG should trend!!! but I guess evryone's having a power nap after the partying haha if my screams will count y not

TOP's misson Happy Birthday song FAIL Oppa Taeyang helped us na sobrang gwapo ata eh nakalimutan na ng VIPs batiin:D#MABUHAYBIGBANG

"You guys are so beautiful tonight!" -GD ♥ #BIGBANGinMANILA#AliveTourManila #MabuhayBIGBANG




I love FEELING!!! How we wish this won't stop~ Truly hengboke~#MABUHAYBIGBANG

and awww... dae dae~ he's all smiles... he seems really happy~ #bigbanggalaxyalivetour  #mabuhaybigbang

Si Dae hindi lumipad kanina! I'm really waiting for that! Ayay!!!#AliveGalaxyTourInManila #MABUHAYBIGBANG

Congratulations to @ovationprod for a successful concert of BIGBANG LIVE IN MANILA Thank you so much for bringing them here#MABUHAYBIGBANG

People were looking at me like I was crazy when we passed by a food mart and I was wearing my devil horn and crown headband.#MABUHAYBIGBANG

TOP's misson Happy Birthday song FAIL Oppa Taeyang helped us na sobrang gwapo ata eh nakalimutan na ng VIPs batiin:D#MABUHAYBIGBANG

Nakaka LSS un Manila Baby ni Taeyang hahaha! :)#MABUHAYBIGBANG

#ALIVETOURPH: Philippines seems to love TOP very much that they scream too much!!!! And as a reply.... TOP smiled. ♥

#ALIVETOURPH: Ri said... "I promise we'll gonna be back. I love this country so much!"

I love how Daesung really makes eye contact. You really is the star for me tonight. #ALIVETOURPH #BIGBANGALIVETOURMANILA


See you soon Big Bang next time you visit, it will be a force-to-pores encounter!!! 

*Photo/gif credit goes to the owners. I don't own any of them. #BEAUTIFULhangover

Thursday, October 25, 2012

BIG BANG, tonight I'm crazy more than ever!

I must say, BIG BANG ROCKS TONIGHT!!! This is really a moment that I can treasure till forever, my first time going to a K-group concert and it’s not just been any random artists but The BIG BANG. Really pleased and overwhelmed by their swag performances! Plus credit to all VIPs who joined the crowd of alive, nonstop bouncing, singing and partying with the boys! The crowd was so enjoying the good vibes all around the MOA Arena and of course it’s undoubtedly brought by the raised roof charisma of GD, TOP. Daesung, Taeyang and Seungri!!

How I wish I could put my recap into detail which I’ve planned in the beginning but viola~ the feel got me up on my seat and not just that I didn’t seated at all in my reserved space but I get all excited and wishfully looked for a perfect spot to groove and that is… tantararan~ (drum rolls…) STAIRCASE of the Upperbox, still far enough from the boys but far enough to have a good look on them! Yey!

Noticed that TOP is a real swagger whose so perfectly fine acting the role of yeah~ rapping, beat boxing and making his natural killer gazes whenever he’s captured by the rolling video. He has the loudest cheer from the crowd during his parts. Moreover when he finally found his real self as Bingu Top as he dances to the encore songs he really is over the top!

Noticed that TOP is a real swagger whose so perfectly fine acting the role of yeah~ rapping, beat boxing and making his natural killer gazes whenever he’s captured by the rolling video. He has the loudest cheer from the crowd during his parts. Moreover when he finally found his real self as Bingu Top as he dances to the encore songs he really is over the top! 

Daesung. Oh neh Kang Daesung surprised me with his charismatic aura on stage. He’s gotten a lot handsome!!! I've just known him from Family Outing and come to like  his wits and smiling face but he’s a totally different person in my eyes now. If only he can see me up close there were really hovering heart shaped clouds on top of my head while watching him flipping his hair and reaching his high notes in his Wings performance. Daebak Daesung-ah!!!

It’s not just the abs we’re all looking at and for whenever he comes out. Taeyang did very well in his sideways "wardrobe spot" on stage. I envy whoever is seated just right in front of those both sides that they get to see the chocolate hills of him!!! He’s the man who wows us with big moves and stunts on stage that he even tumbles in his last three back flips while half naked on stage. Haha! How I wish I could scold the floorings for being at fault of his almost stumble earlier. Hmp!

Seungri the sole member I’m not a big fan of in the group but thinking about how he managed to show his sincerity in connecting with the audience all I can say is that fan service is really a plus! He speaks English with effort and of course confidence for which now I know where comes from, it’s the VIPs who have a not so good impression on him thus he doubles the effort to be acknowledged and he shows it with ease. Naks Seungri you’re one strange and cute guy up close.
The-One-of-a-kind post will never be taken away from him, G-Dragon has it all it takes to be a king in the music industry. Like he’s talented and close to being a genius for his compositions already but why must he come in full packaged persona. He could’ve been just a baby face idol leader but he fared to be more than what he’s expected to do. He’s a total performer and he never fails to surprise all expectant VIPs with his overflowing passion groove on stage. He’s my forever bias because he does what he do best.

Overall, I can sense that they're all timid in expressing themselves because of the language. Also we haven't came up with our fanchants because we're not used to it since we do the whole song. haha! Really Pinoy VIPs!!! It's just so overwhelming that we all forgotten to give the boys the missions and just do our thing, party like a vip. Though GD was not in his hyper mode but as I've seen on the LED screen he really was touched by the crowd's liveliness that I've seen a teary eyed GD (or it's just me--.---)> But nothings stop them from luring us even more. The Encore was not a joke! According to fans over tweeter/Soompi, Alive Tour in MANILA gets the VIP treatment from Big Bang more of other countries they've visited for their 30 min repeat! wahahahhah! I almost cried because of their passion to please us. SALAMAT Big Bang! Mabuhay! Balik agad-agad.

*Photo/gif credit goes to the owners. I don't own any of them. #BEAUTIFULhangover.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Irony of Spaghetti

Scene after a workout, I’m all prepared to go to sleep with my comfortable clothes and drying lotion mask on when a knock from a door stunned me. It’s my land lady with spaghetti, a full plate of spaghetti, she extended her arm to offer the hot plate towards me where I guess she’s that surprise with how I look to not even respond with my question of what reason there’s spaghetti in quarter to 10 p.m.

Jaded by the work out plus the spaghetti in my room I didn't gain any more sense to gather my thoughts answering my question. I dig in and ate it all. And now I’m no more hungry, sleepy, gullible… Thinking how I resist to take out a meal from a food chain after losing 200 kilo calories earlier, I am here fed with spaghetti, which I must say flavorful not judging from how it looks, wanting to lose the food I just took.

Then as I am contemplating now it’s the irony of going through a situation where you have to lose some if you want to gain some. Then irony in by any means is fine. After knowing it’s my land lady’s son’s birthday, accepting a food from a party is definitely the right thing to do instead of being asked for a gift right? So ignoring the fact that I’m on a diet my deed earlier was just so a norm. Good thing I didn't resist to the good old lady. The thought of giving a spag of no particular time and space made me feel actually grateful to be remembered. This made me full. So... Thank you.

Sunday, October 14, 2012


You cannot delete a number from your memory. I did delete his number but one of the first contacts I can actually memorize was his. It’s not my parents whom I’ll probably call when I’m on emergency and freaking out it must have been him during the peak of my liking. Good thing I was never been into accident or so. Apparently he changed number and I was not updated. Time to be sensitive for once and that’s a newsflash I’m actually bothered to discuss. But it will always not end with “Yeah! I’m fine that he’s again courting someone new, someone close…” Others, you will not believe it too. This should be in a process of what they call acceptance and all but yes! I've decided to delete you in my memory which means to forget that we MIGHT be. I let go.

Friends have said that I need to admit in his face for closure’s sake but I bet closure does not exist even if I dared to do it. Like, what if I did? Of course I'll be waiting still for reply and that's for sure I can't deny. So not until I’m still in a hurry to wrap this piece up. This will always be my unfinished business and I’m afraid if not today soon enough as I check my fb news feeds there’ll be posts he liked, commented and another girl he posed with, I’ll sure get tired of them and feel no more for this guy. I just don’t want to be less important anymore in his eyes. He’s a good, cool guy in his own and that I wish I don’t want to erase. Only my hovering feelings of future should be.

And since I REFUSED TO SAY GOODBYE IN TEARS rest assured that I’ll be found and not to give up on my dream to look for it if you know what I’m saying. This is for my own credit and I’m game for the stability of my own feelings. Sometimes it’s the expense you have to take along the process; most of the time it will be too difficult, too scary... It’s only once you stop you realized it’s hard to start again that you force yourself not to want it but you know the feeling always remain. It’s just not because he’s courting a friend but it’s now for my own sake that I am unsubscribing you out of my brain. My future does not lie in line with your likes it’s with someone whom I’ll further the connection with. A friend said to me then that soon there’ll be someone who’ll come to my life that I’ll be afraid to miss, that I will not selfishly ignore if I realized I’m already fell (that’s how I initially react, IGNORE.) and in the same way will not be tired to go after me.

And I knew more than anyone now that it will not happen right away but I’m up for my closure someday. So that  I can say that it must have been just a random WRONG NUMBER.

fIGHTING Zelle!!!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

What's good about first love?

When we first met I knew then that you’re a jerk. On our second day of class orientation, where you seem like a stranger since you intentionally missed the first, you made fun of my name. Clenching my fist to get a hold of my pissed self I took a glance from behind my seat. And for a moment I've forgotten I was late. Your familiar grinning face greets me with aloof and brought sudden blushes all over my cheeks.

Fighting the feeling that he's just seated behind.
But actually... You can play with my name some more... HAHAH! like change my last name with  yours? It's fine. 
Your looks misled me to change.

I began to use my second name, Maezelle or Zel for a change since with Jerma it's always results to be misspelled. I started studying before classes starts so then I could show that I’m good in Management and Finance. I decided to always raise my hand in every class I’m in since I made it obvious that I’m now sitting in front row and no longer on the third.

But the crisis lies whenever we meet at the corridor, whenever I collect money for photo copy, whenever you pass those test papers… You always kept me off-guard. Your presence is too much for me to bear making me concentrate with my ways not to bump on you along the way.

Oh crap. This isn't what I've planned of doing on my first year in college.

I was always excited with college life like being free; getting to choose my Profs, strange classmates, schedule of the day where you’ll need extra powers in Accounting and units to take but then why am I so obedient with my parents?

So after realizing how the feeling is actually changing me to a “better student” and ridiculous self made image, I flunk my Algebra 1. And what’s in store for me after not submitting my freaking compiled test papers and quizzes I repeated the subject; faced my parents with fear like what happened with Algebra nowadays?!; dealt with the Dean explaining why I didn't made it to Dean’s List when I’m a full scholar; that anxious feeling of no one to talk to about my first flunk in the history even with closest friends because perhaps they’re all part of “The List”.

Maybe I did it bit too far. And though I know he’s not the sole reason behind my misery because you know let’s just say shit happens but I claimed that he’s partly to blame in my dirty conscience. Since all those six months seemed to be so tiring avoiding the feeling that only my gay friends know about him - I shifted course. My scholarship is still full and retained so no worries. My second take of that Algebra is an epic experience for me that I even get to be awarded with the highest grade said my Instructor then. But I’m not that good just so you know I’m just lucky that majority of my classmates flunk the subject as well last sem. HAHHAH! Love the vibe there! I’m a genius in that class but I don’t wish to go back. So I get up. Moved on. Somehow.

So many times I've said that this darn feeling is over. But it's just been like a mantra.

So to continue, I picked a course close to my heart – Business Administration major in Business Engineering. Never mind asking me why I chose to enroll since I’m going to tell anyway… because I might be called to the Guidance office for breaking in the bulletin board and get a few sheets of paper explaining the new course in ADNU. I even get to like Math now. Yoohoo! So when I’m dealing with my grades to be in tucked I was also at that time wounded that he’s dating our classmate whom we all hated then.

Skipping through the pages, I got his number from a guy friend way back in high school whose cousin is a close friend of him. This friend seems to be so supportive after all maybe I should start treating him well because by then he sends it to me thru business card and of course no number or whatever details along with the NUMBER OF MY CRUSH. My crush!!! (Let's pretend I still got the feel.) So without further a due, I ignored who’s that good Samaritan who sent me his mocking number. Given the reason of the benefit of the doubt I text him.

Luckily he replied but in a very timid and strange way. So never mind. I got his number and I was freaking happy though I sensed that he doesn't buy the lamest reason of how I got his number. But a business card was again received and it’s a number of my crush’s girlfriend I text the number with no definite reason at all. So there, we became closer since it just happened that our siblings are friends and our parents are former officemates we came to understand each other in some way which is good. Whenever she makes kwento it will always be about his boyfriend whom I’m claiming to be my first love said the pathetic writer. Like she’s handing such favors “Can you pls greet him on our monthsary?”  Then I go OhhhMG ARE YOU SURE?!? So I text him as what I was told. I’m the nicest when it comes to chances of being close to her bf~ And my text goes: Happy Monthsary. Awwww. Sayang umuulan di pwede mag date-date. Bwahahaah! That’s before realizing he’s about to pass by the corridor of the bldg. where his classroom is just few steps away from where I am in since I made a shed out from the rain. I blushed. He might have thought that it was his girlfriend texting him cheesy greeting. Taga Assumption lang teh?! hahahah

4 yrs na ang nakalipas di mo man lang ako linigawan. hmp! KJ!

And thinking how it all turned out… that year after year he has girlfriends and I still have none. I just lived the way I should be up to date. Nothing’s changed except we just became friends on fb on my last sem of our college years after he waved at me when I’m drinking in a cold water from the fountain during a break of a football practice. WOW! I kept running and energetic after that relief. That’s how he affects me and how he responds to my insignificance to him. I know we had our moments of getting closer but I refused to take the chance since I have insecurities and doubts as an awkward girl. I’m not his type that I knew all along. It’s just anticipative of how world promises that you might not know what’s going to happen next so maybe that’s why I’m not leaving yet the hopes.

But thinking about the turn of events, I just can’t move on unless I fell again. I’m not so serious right?! Hmn… Allow me to put on my confident sash to say a word of goodbye, I am happy of at least I am able to meet you and fell for your gaze, hirits, smile, background I must say and character... I have come to cherish the moments our classrooms are just next to the other. Those hundreds of mutual friends we have bind us as if we’re supposed to be close in real life. That no matter what my friends say that this isn't love since I’m fighting over my feelings for this not to reach you just like how I battle my eyelids to fall before my eyes though I know I need enough sleep… I've come to a point that I've been sure I was.

Wish that you could already reply the right answer to my playful quiz text to you, for God sake you’ll not answer it with a *sigh and making me come after my father’s thoughts about love again. Just so you know it wasn't a real essay I’m making that night but that scheme brought me non-stop giggles alone in the bathroom waiting for your response and that very moment I think I can almost come up with something decent essay about our topic in Philo 2. That was a memory of my first attempt to be closer to you and though it’s a pity that you didn't make a move on me I’m again grateful you never did.

I don’t want to bid goodbye since in time this small world will let us know how deliberately small it is  with enough reasons why it came to my UNLIKE this time. So go, enjoy like you always do because I’m having a good time too. Wish you to be happier and hopefully you’ll drool at the back of your mind for letting me write about my can’t help agony of you, my supposed to be FIRST LOVE.

Annyeong na sayo~
Oh xa at maka pag'boyfriend na!!! (^ ^)>

Credits: /