I actually have something far more important to do right now but...
1. I dont understand why there's always a person in a group of chatting people who raises their voice just to let his/her story be told first. I will no longer say heard because I defenitely did.
2. I dont understand why people watches a show or a celebrity on tv whom/which they dont like in the first place. Then they will rant on SNS as if they were paid to bash.
3. I dont understand why there are existing people who hates another person just by their mere existence. Like, you sure you're someone worthy as well to be called human when you cant even open your mind to get to know the other person you *just hate?
4. I dont understand why kentucky original fried chicken is always smaller than the hot and spicy one?
5. I dont understand why you have to say "sorry" or "excuse me" when passing by a group of people talking when you will and you mean to interrupt their conversation. I still dont find it courteous.
6. I dont understand where does my *hatsing goes after it didn't went out of my nose.
7. I dont understand why the people who pisses you off are the people whom you're being careful not to hurt or get mad at. Then will result to blaming your ownself for even thinking of getting mad or you try hard not to let it show that you're truly about to fire up.
8. I dont understand why there's no survey yet about "how people reacts on heavy rains (or even just a plain, simple rain) in metro manila". Because I'm curious as to why the roads are always immovable when we all know rain's gonna stop. So might as well wait for their turn to get home, those who are leaving for work should be the ones to get off first right? See my point?
9. I dont understand why people in love are the most immature people I know. Always the attention seeker. I think they dont deserve or arent ready for it yet. Hahaha kidding!!!
10. I dont understand why people (ladies in particular) typed in "HAHA" or say "I dont care" when you know from the tone of their comments or voice thay they are affected, hurt and sensitive about the issue.
11. I dont understand why there are friends who pushes you to be in a relationship but when you got yourself into it they'll find glitches, holes and cracks to break you off. Hmnnn... something isn't right.
12. I dont understand why you get mad at people who ignores you or who remains silent when you know you'll be treating their words as unsolicited advice.
13. I dont understand why I didnt date the guy I seriously think is the one.
14. I dont understand why I'm having all these misunderstandings and making them bug my day when I know I dont have all the time in the world to care about all these *sensitivities! HMP! (See #10)
Thursday, March 19, 2015
I actually have something far more important to do right now but...
Monday, March 16, 2015
Monday, March 9, 2015
2014 may not be a good year for me but I must say it was still worth telling.
And having said that, I feel like I have been holding back from all that just happened. It was as if I'm being led on when I know the choice, the right ones will come from me alone - that if you find yourself lost you must go and get yourself together. And when you realized you're hurting in the process you go tell yourself "this too shall pass!", and if it's dragging you or confusing you, stay out of it decently. SPARE YOUR BEAUTIFUL FUTURE because most probably, you know how to be happy and at that point isn't making you smile anymore. I never thought mishaps were to come that year in a bulk but I am very much thankful they happened earlier in my life.
I'm now starting to plan travels; financial goals; investment. ALL to save myself from regrets. This year, I plan to be good to myself. I plan to W A I T for my dreams to be realized as I stay true to my intentions and do what I have to do- surround myself with the goals I planned of pursuing. And so I'm still thankful to last year's events because they were more of a training ground for soon to come years. Now, I know it's all up to me. I will no longer say, 2015 be good to me but rather, I'll be good to you!
Still in love,
Lately… No. I know I’m making a fool out of myself if I say I just realized this but yes, being a fan of drama series would always lead me to thinking that for it to be a happy ending the protagonist should succeed in all sorts of twist there is in those 16 episodes or more. No dead ends. No unresolved misunderstandings. And dying in the end won’t make me convinced that he did well in the course of telling his story. HAHHAHA
Hard to please as an spectator but really I hate the main lead who is a pushover! I am saying this because I am not. Well, I used to be someone like “My Liege” ( Pehaa~) in Empress Ki at some points in my life but they were those times I didn’t give much concern about the world I lived in or simply I let others shine before me and that’s ok. But looking through the bigger picture, the people who have realized they are lacking in ways they want to be good at are the ones who will most probably be hitting the jackpot! So it's either you go close the gap from going to place you wish to be or give up in an instant because you think you're better off without it. But the thrill of life will not be there if you just wait for sunshine to come, I mean c'mon! Go fight for what you want! Now I'm at the age where I cant be wrong anymore... I know, I know this cant be true but what if you allow yourself believing it can happen because after all, matters of financial; career; history already made some marks and trying to refresh my memory from those would be of help for sure. And because I know now...
I suddenly want to go home. I feel the need to be next to the people whom I know loves me for sure. Waaaaaaahhhhh!!! I feel that I’m very vulnerable these days so I want to feel the equilibrium that my family can give me. I want to be busy as a bee! Do this and chase happiness! I want an F5 kind of thing! I am new and blessed soon as I wake up! I'm forgiven! NO LONGER SHAKEN! I AM THE PROTAGONIST IN A DIFFICULT ERA! I maybe scared but dam*it! I'm ready to live!
At last I have found myself typing the words for real. It’s no longer mere thoughts in my head triggered by some mellow songs on Spotify; no more wasted time thinking how I should begin each post I wish to publish for the first time this year 2015. Really, I’m totally out of my consciousness lately.
I hurt people’s feelings and lost to some battles because of my own selfish acts of chaotic behavior. It was only just recently I came to the conclusion that my “get out of jail free” cards were running dangerously low, and my luck was about to say “f*ck it” and refuse to bail me out.
So tonight, I refused to go out and just breathe it all out!!! Well actually, I just dozed off the feels left to be felt from what's keeping me still. I want to moved on completely! To be true to my words again that moving on is my forte and just find myself ready, stronger and braver!
I think it's time I look at myself from another's POV because I want to help myself. I want to win over myself!
JERMA doesn't know how to communicate her feelings well. She maybe too open with her emotions but still don't hold on to those as she's too volatile. She hates pleasing people for the sole reason that she may not be sticking to her true intentions. She only dreams of getting that one thing she thinks she deserves but wavers every now and then to some who/which she seems okay with... She has that tendency to settle but I think (so I'm sure) people find her choices misfitting to what she portrays. GOING BACK TO *she's very volatile, people may have not known this but she's just too lame at understanding her own self but when she feels weird about what's just happening that's when she's at her happiest. BECAUSE she finds it as an excuse to be living at present. She's the complicated character in the story. She never cry on some love or friendship kind of things because when that droplets of tears fall, she sees it weak. Care to know what makes her cry? Let her watch a singing contest or a love story where no one dies but shows a love that is not swayed in all times. She's a big fan of big dreams and the people who dares try to achieve their true heart's desire are her inspirations! All because she wishes to be just like them. She's not so different to anyone but I find her special because she's now trying to live like one.
The moral is, usually, if we watch our bad behavior on film or see someone else acting like us when we are bad then it makes us have more insight and want to behave differently. That is what I just did.
See yah in a different light, miss piggy!
To my go-to confidant, one of the bestest friends in and out of the office, and the sister/brother i never had *cries in the corner*... Happy Last Day @ Work Bee Lee ssi!
I have yet to absorb that the sisterhood will not be physically together anymore but know that whatever happens, I will always be here! Trust that I'll be protecting you from all those who will be talking about your cause of *sniff* death later at 8. Hahaha Basta! I may not be missing you now but for sure it will come! Lamonayan!
So to one of the proven cures to my aray, the best listener to all our adventures and misadventures, the peg at work minus the kaartehan! WE LOVE YOU! At matagal na ktang pinatawad sa di mo pagsabi dati, actually that was never an issue! Hahaha I thank the universe for letting us all meet in a dorky team of ICS MNL! Awww~ You will always be remembered like everyone else who used to be part of the team!
Goodluck and God bless you more and more, because you truly deserve the success! #BeeLee #AnoNaNamanYanIel #Saicy #FxCash #Specialist #MayCrushKayHaidee 👋😊
***Because it's hard to meet such good friend in this world! He's always been here and there for the 1 and 1/2 years we've known each other. Thank you Bee Lee!
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
I’m so pissed off with life right now. It feels like the world is against all my endeavors but it doesn’t hurt. Because it is tiring to the core~!! Like what the F*CK did I just do to deserve this? Yes, it’s partly my fault for believing that I can make the business grow but that’s some courage to take before engaging myself in it. I had to sacrifice my sleep; my health, my 24 hours because even at work I keep watching the candle fall, my relationship with my family whom I’ve failed because of this d*mn trades!
I’m so pissed that I want to break free, escape from reality that I am broke, that I can’t even pay my bills on time just to pay my obligations. I don’t own my salary for past months now and I have dragged the agony of believing this will be over soon and that we can make it double. The fun swept by and I become less lively, now I’m cursing the mishaps I have.
I can’t even pay attention to someone who is giving me concern because I am overwhelmed with the situation I am in right now! People would say, “ohh you’re rich anyway”; “that isn’t such a big deal”; “there are a lot more people who are far more experiencing the worst of the worst”. And yet those words didn’t mean so much to me now that I hardly breathe nor live because of this. I know it will be different after this next two months but OH GOD if you’re there can you surprise me with something that would make me smile, would make this light. I can’t run to my family, friends and you know that I only have you and my pride. This may seem bad to hear but I mean it when I said nothing’s working for me. I feel ignored and helpless.