It's been a long time since I have found myself in my quiet old self, finding solace in writing down the feels over the weekend but today's post will be from one of the longest months of my life so far and I'll tell you why. waeyo!?!?
Let me begin by sharing that I just got a new job! That's maybe why I forced myself from posting pictures of my former officemates from down down below to give you the right pacing you deserve. Anyway, who am I talking to? Hahahaha Going back, I'm now the Citibanker as they say, where working late is a normal thing as I deserved this because I wanted this from happening anyway. Waaaaaahhh On a serious note, everyday is quite a struggle because really it is. I'm on an everyday OT plus I'm not sure if I can really see myself lasting 6 months or more as you know I'm not the one who just endures the "hard work" as it makes life harder that its normally is. Maybe that's why I feel the pressure at work and most times merely doing my part which is I find not that fulfilling until I find myself going through my notes, breaking down the infos they gave me into pieces so I can somehow catch up. Because just a disclaimer, when you had the background of the work and you were hired for it (obviously) you really are expected to deliver and that's normal but frightening at some point in my case as we all know I tend not to seek help or firing questions when I can't connect the dots yet on my head. So there, I learned through mistakes and see myself dumbfounded everytime unusual things happen. The work I'm in is really chaotic and I can say I'm always weighing requests from both clients and the people within the bank I'm working as it's just chaotic like that.
But that's not all. What made me changed my attitude towards work is a process of acceptance. It's by accepting that you have to come to work at 9 and go out by 8pm or beyond. Imagine this happening everyday in my first 2 months made me stressed to the point of giving up but it changed as I prayed real hard to reached this desire of challenging myself from being able to function as cool as I can be. Well for adults they call it working professionally. It's not that people in there don't have the choice because if others from competing banks get to see the people I've come to know here they would be amazed by how passionate, dedicated and proactive they are to finish a day with still smiles on their faces. I mean it is always a long day at the bank but it speeds up because we're all busy as a bee.They all are aware of me struggling in those weeks because I get to speak up my mind now and I'm just that good at being indifferent whenever I make mistakes but still I do believe in those hard days that these will all be worth the deep breath and long faces every waking time going to work because the progress (naks!) and the difference from the way I see it now shows. I'm no longer finding myself going to F21 just to relieve myself from all the stress I got the whole day or the feeling of visiting the salon thinking what to do in there when I just changed my hair color last week and got my nails painted just recently. Like really? Every weekend I wish to go home and see my family but afraid that I might not go back to work after spending quality time with them. I must say those times were the hardest because I have seen myself way different from how I was back as Specialist, from one of the pioneer batch in FX to the strange trying hard Officer that I am now but it made sense to me, that learning is a neverending thing and it's way more rewarding when things you've acquired and celebrated comes from hard work, self taught and grace from God above. Yesss that's what I've been upto those longest two months... I was always out for a shop. HAHAHAHA! Anywho, it's been reasonably awakening and well for me worth the share. I always want to thank my siblings, friends and parents for just always answering my calls when I just feel like I wanted to awol from work. HAHAHA Thanks for the inspiration TED TALKS, Robin Sharma, Make-up Youtubers, Steve Job's speech on replay and Bro. Alvin Barcelona for I always found myself at peace whenever I go to The Feast.
|My first time getting off work ALONE at 11pm.|
|Because I just aged twice as fast as before.|
|Went hiking for 14 K I L O M E T E R S to see the beautiful disaster in Mt. Pinatubo.|
|Depended on this with former officemates.|
|Misses home that's why~|
Who has found the meaning,
Miss Piggy (---.----)\/