Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Because 2016 was such a tease!

2016 is not yet over but since I already kept dreaming of writing about it so here's my overflowing feels for this year that will be ending (tears~~~?) in just few tumbling. Just for everyone's knowledge I have resigned from my corporate job and God is good for allowing me be in the shed of my parents for about 7 months since I moved my whole piece of self back in town where I used to live for 2 decades since birth. 

To tell you honestly, when I left Citi I was half hearted. I guess because I was as  unsure as my reasons why I will have to leave to pursue bigger goals someday. Someday I still do not know the possibilities and as to how it will take place. Well then, the 7 months hiatus also paved discoveries and ways to get to know myself more and to experience living again with people in my life who genuinely have my best interests at heart and and want nothing but the best for me. Aigooo~~~ I am not supposed to be here and live the bum life I'm having because I never really imagined myself to be back here, get involved again with the hustle of trying to understand the differences we have in the house, the family drama my goshhhh!!! Don't get me wrong but for 5 long straight years living on my own in a city that is very busy, where no time is allotted for dramas (not the koryan drama though) since you're already confined with the struggle of daily commute and stress at work. Hence, I have managed to only be good to myself that everything that's also in my world becomes secondary. Yes, I may look  apathetic but allow yourself to get to know me by my shortcomings, they add twists to my life after getting bored from aiding my single blessedness. I mean, 2016 was extremely difficult year that made me madly anxious about my future. It made me act on the NOW and stopped from the so much thoughts I've been regularly thinking since I come to this age for quarter life crisis. 

To give you a a gist of the things and crazy thoughts I have done for the whole year, here's my life in order. At least here I could say I'm pretty much organized. Hahaha

1. In secret, I was counting the days off from the day I'll be parting with my then company. Yes, ever since I got in that chaotic banking environment I also have decided to leave exactly a year after I felt uneasy. To be very honest, I accepted the post because I badly needed to have a new beginning (you shouldn't be asking what it is, that would be rude! Tsar.) and I super liked the job posting. But after suffering the birth pains of the job, I simply just work that I forgot how to be myself again. It's been crazy really but it effectively healed myself from a broken heart. Tsar again! It may not be the job that I felt like going to every day but some of the finest and professional people were there and for that I'll forever be grateful for the one of a kind experience. In the end, the best teachers were really our mistakes and the consequences of our choices.

*Life Tips from Misil:
"Counting off the days before your vacation leave or last day at work is indeed very helpful to keep you motivated coming to work."

"Don't join the squad and pin point the toxic and difficult people in the office. Get to know them instead. They're 99% good people."

"Don't just be curious about things that puzzles you, get the answers. Always ask."

"Don't be too hard on yourself. Because work is only a part of life. To put it frankly, there's no life in the banking industry because it's not your money anyway your counting ." 

2. Went on a solo traveling to the country I wish to be licing right now, Seoul, South Korea. The decision to go solo (trying not to say alone, ouch!) wasn't so hard for me to decide on since I was thinking about going there any time I'm free to fly. Especially after receiving my lump sum bonus back in January so YEY to that! I went to MOA for the yearly travel expo back in November last year and got the 13k round trip ticket to Seoul. I simply don't mind the price just to be happy in my 7 day stay in the cold post winter season visit I had last March 6. Little did I know the preparation killed my already sleeplessness because the thought of the 7 days of traveling solo sinked in weeks before my flight and my parents is strongly against my plan. But my stubbornness once again ruled over the wishes of my parents. I can still relish the days and nights I would alot to research and study the places I'll include in my itinerary. Woooohhhh so with courage, thrill, excitement and fear all together in my tummy I forgot to care enough about my head, too bad I have suffered very bad headache on my first day in Seoul. But still I managed to get better each day, I have mingled with my roommates, my landlady at the hostel I stayed in with veryyyy gourmet like breakfast and of course the koryan saram(s) in the subways and the places I've been lost. 

Ramyeon at a jjimjilbang place near Seoul Station. 
Me trying to take a picture using my iPhone's timer. I still can't overcome my shyness for asking help. 
At the Travel Expo where i got the cheapest fare at Jeju Air! Hahahaha kidding, it was doubled the price of my cebupac ticket fare from my last visit. nonetheless, I was treated like a koryan saram! 

But wait there's more, I was often called by some kapwa koryan that as "haeksaeng"!!! Student daw ako besh! Hahahah k.

Blending in with my winter clothes! Yay! Bought several pieces because that was my travel is all about, YOLO! That even if the temperature is below 0*, I have managed to stroll with my skirt!

Right behind me is where my hardworking yeobos work. YG Entertainment! 
I still feel the need to post this because this is the craziest and the most heart breaking part of my trip, I was cut off from the group who can see Kpop Idols perform live! The pain was still the same though. Waaaahhhh But I've found reason again to come back! Fighting!!!

Good thing I saw their leader at the airport. Hahahaha I claimed it so yeah, that was B.I. lining up before me at the Immigration area! Siya yun dapat!!!  Thanks for cheering me up.

*Life Tips from Misil: 
"The things you once not cared about will remind their value to your life. Remind yourself that the measly and petty things may teach you valuable lessons in life."

"Don't stress. It's vacation you're planning not a battle field."

"Stay true to your roots. If you're not so good at taking pictures-why not do some snapchats or vlog!" 

3. This is by far the most surprising that happened in my 2016 because I never thought that this can still occur in this lifetime. Behold because I think I can now live healthily with this! I can even soon bear a child because I CAN NOW SWALLOW SOLID MEDICINES!!! I got a help from several YouTube clips on how to swallow a medicine so I practiced using a crack piece of Polo candy and once I got the momentum, I never stopped myself from taking up my vitamins and headache reliever. Yey!!!

*Life Tip from Misil:

"Have the courage to try especially, if that concerns the betterment of your health."

4. Back in Bikol. I wouldn't say I would live here for good. I just can't see that yet but I have been busy with my duties as Operations Manager of our family business-resort which just opened last May 15 of this year. Seriously at first I couldn't see the value of our resort because I was more concerned with my own interests because my supposedly plan to study abroad was pushed back because the startup business is on the process of construction and a big sum of money is also needed. I moved on from it from my day to day reminders to self that this is also what my parents should be doing at this time in their retirement phase of their lives. I mean if I can be sensitive enough with how they have managed to raised us in a comfortable life since we were kids, this is just small lapse they may have not seen to be coming. No, actually I was in the wrong here to think about only of my own when my parents are just doing their part again for us their kids to have a brighter future. But the process of accepting how things are going now was not an easy task to understand right away, because though I am still wandering at 26, undeniably I am still at my prime and I constantly feel like I am wasting time-time where I could have been earning and saving for goals I wish to achieve in this life that I imagined to be worthwhile and promising. But it came to me also almost everytime I feel low about the unrealized goal to study abroad, was the optimistic side of me-negating my biases over my selfishness; my life I wish to be as good as @hellokaty or as exciting as the people I admire in every series I've been watching. I kept negating the sadness to interfere every end of the day and make myself believe that you are here for a reason. I know I once twitted/posted on fb that " SOMETIMES IT *doesn't* ALL HAPPEN FOR A REASON" -Yes, I'm saying things I will soon regret and that was one of the moments I made sadness rule over my resilience. Back then I maybe thinking, I simply made a bad choice. I was doomed when I came back and that my family wouldn't support my dreams at all. That I will no longer need to justify and wait for a reason why I wasn't happy with the result of my choices. I couldn't surrender my troubles to the highest being (God) since He has too many issues to solve for sure-mine is just minimal. I was in fear asking for Him to take me anytime this year just because I'm not happy at a point in my life that I should be somewhere real nice as I imagined it in my dreams. That was depressing and I don't wish anyone would have the same thoughts like mine. Live still in the moment and believe in the God you once thanked for because of a blessing just few weeks or months. 

*Life Tips from Misil:
"We just come in to terms with our own selves when we are weary but we have a friend in Jesus whom we can count on our lowest if we wish not to share our troubles with anyone."

"This too shall pass. Failure is okay because it teaches you hard to earn lessons so you could be better."

"Quarter life crisis is not a trap, rather it's a detour you need to experience once in a lifetime. Hopefully just once."

"Be kind to yourself when things get hard."

"It's fine to curse but ask forgiveness and forgive yourself after you have cooled off."

5. I have shut the front door for "friends" whom I have not experienced being good in their company and relationships that were long overdue to be closed. Umn. I feel the need to let go of some of these long time "friends"since I have all the right to do so and choose the ones I want to be real with. So I eliminated the people holding me down and be friends with those who try their hardest to lift me high and a true believers of my dreams because I am also with them. 

Life Tip from Misil:
"You should at least share the same values in life."

6. Since I've stayed with my parents, apart from doing the day to day duties of a bantay-resort/bantay-tindahan, I kept myself busy with beautifying the surrounding sights of our place. Not to boast but I have won over my father's idea about necessary improvements and added attractions to adapt in our resort like the the first ever built #mudslide and obstacle course experience in the Bicol Region. The idea is from a YouTube clip I saw, also we have to live up to our business name, #Valerosa FARM ADVENTURE Resort so I initiated its construction and helped in how it should be experience by our customers. 

Fortunately, we're blessed with a natural resources that fits well with what I have in mind. The obstacle course is also around the farm so it's like killing two birds with one stone, we have incorporated the mudly, deeply mudslide adventure with the view of the farm. Now they won't just be appreciating the farm from afar. Thanks to me! Tsarot lang~ 



One more that kept me more alive lately was my own discovery of a talent of mine. I still get shy saying this because I simply just copy my paintings from a picture I find cool on Fb so that day happened that I started painting first on our wooden swings, then few months later found myself painting on washing boards for our signages, then just recently I'm into lettering the name of our resort that pushed me to try harder and paint on concrete walls and our wall-of-wisdom. Isn't that something??! I'm not actually not a good at drawing but back in college my drawing of straight lines were quite applauded because their just... well, straight. Hahahaha 


*Life Tips from Misil:
"No one is too early or too late for something. Who are you to judge diba?"

"If you feel your idea is good enough to make an extra profit and beneficial, make others understand how it goes and show them it's benefits. Talk about it with a positive mindset."

"Always learn from others because you might just learn something new from them."

7. I maintained a short haircut ever since I decided to drop from my short course classes I took for free. Hahahah Steve Jobs must be proud! Drop the class that doesn't interest you! Kaya eto~ 


*Life Tip from Misil:

"Stay foolish and never settle for things that refrain you from becoming the person you wish to become."

"Dare to be bold and random because you'll never know you'll love it."

To sum up, I was the most daring and bold this year which fits with the season of my life as well. So I'm happy I blended in with the heavy waves 2016 has slapped and made me roll over. My goshhhhh!!! But what I trully have understood from all these is to KEEP ON TRYING no matter what's limiting you from even thinking of your happiness. So be it as bold as going again for a job interview or going solo on a vacation abroad what will do matter in the end is that you tried in pursuing your happiness. The moment you bring yourself together in an unknown circumstance, YOU'VE FINISHED 2016 WITH BOLDNESS my dear! Cheers to more discoveries and wisdom found from true life experiences.


The bravest at 26,
Misil

Friday, November 4, 2016

Random Quote | 01

"How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live." 

- Henry David Thorea

October 28, 2016


Back in 2013, a free spirited, young, hopeful and single lady once agreed with friends to take part on a Chinese belief kind of bustle to know when she’ll get married. This commotion will tell you what age you’ll marry and I happen to believed it ever since. The game starts by simply widely spreading your palm and right then, decide which age you prefer to get married – say for example, at 26 then make a circling motion for 26 times while holding a necklace on your other hand over your other hand’s palm (you can ask somebody’s help if you want) and once the pendant’s necklace stops from moving in circle… Viola! That’s the end of the game! You got your marrying age and you can expect nothing or held on to that firmly (secretly).

So what really made me expect that today is the day to say goodbye to singlehood? Well, it was my imagination luring me to believe this trend of wedding events, in the brood of 3, my little brother got married first on December 28th and our older sister tied a knot on the 28th of November so what’s wrong with me getting married today, October 28th, at the age I’ve been decided to get married by a pendant at freakin’ 26? Emairite? SO okeyyy. I don’t want to entertain other thoughts than believing it will all be fine. It may be soon or never mind… that thought of marrying someone is really far from my agenda right now. But will sure make me all kilig kung totoo man.

And so, the date of my wedding day has come and I am not attending.


With so much love to give,
Zelle 

Sunday, April 10, 2016

No EDITS.

Greetings everyone!

To stay true to you, posting in a day like this has been a struggle lately because it’s not probably new to many that I am busy as a bee in the office and in most times spent my time sleeping in front of my phone streaming drama series. So yey! I made it this time! I am no longer just thinking in my head the issues I want to post but now writing them down, making a memory for myself to collect on days just like this, that is, senti and full of desire to make something productive. Get to own the whole night by thinking issues in my head to be organized somehow. And because I have so many things going on –bear with my randomness because my emotions
will just pop out from here to there. And see I barely backspace to get me to the point so let's make a start!


Currently I am sipping my now warm coffee latte from 7ate9 Cafe. This
is not my usual coffee tastes like and I really don’t order coffee in coffee shops because I love the fruit juices and teas, but since I got broken hearted after knowing the coffee shake from my go to Family Mart is not yet available so I resorted with thrice the price of my regular coffee. Because I just badly need one!



But what I really want to talk about is not how thrifty I am because that’s something I am not consistent about for almost a year now. If the cctvs’ are in place in God’s office then only He could see me going in and out of Forever21 and H&M buying the clothes who knows if I can even wear in a hot and most times humid place like Philippines.


Lately, I am always finding pieces that are thick and fashionably odd to wear in the streets of Metro Manila –WHY? Because I am planning of going to some place windy and cold. Yes, I am preparing to leave some time in July. I already handed over to my bosses my resignation letter. I even cried while telling my immediate supervisor that I will have to do this because this isn’t just a dream for me but also for my parents’ and I can't blow the chance off. They wanted that at least one of their kids is working overseas so that they can travel far from one kid’s place to another. My parents just wanted one and I don’t think I have that choice not to say YES because I am the sole single in the brood of three. I am also in an age where I should be thinking far more than I’ve been just merely thinking of doing and that is saving for the future because we really wouldn’t know what’s in store for us all so when my parents’ are still able to support that dream then I have to really go. But can I just say my fears? I wish I am that fully committed of flying out and really be far far away from home. I mean afraid in that sense that I’ll be pursuing something that I do not just personally choose to take. It’s quite ironic for me to be listening to my parents request and advise that I am now in a decision to do it and that this has been long overdue for months now. You know I’m not the listening type to others’ thoughts so me following the advice of the third persons in my will to fly is pushing myself to be in more deep thought if I should really be going faaaaaaarrr… Hmnnn am I that different? So let me consider the pros and cons of independence living overseas:

Pros:
1.      My life will definitely change and it will be full of diversity. It
will be exciting, I know!
2.      I can finally wear my warm clothes hauled from my Seoul trip last March.
3.      A chance to meet my will be partner in life.
4.      A chance to be fully committed on something is there i.e., get good
grades; find part time jobs, real work after a year, save money for my
parents to come visit me, citizenship after two years?, save for my
own flat perhaps, save for more travels with family and friends, save
for my dream hostel to be built in there.
5.      Be a person who has not only have the money to share but also life
lessons from various experiences.
6.      I’ll be left with what ifs if I will not be pushing this year or next.

Cons:
1.      What if the right partner isn’t in the place I’ll be going into!!!?! Ottoeke?!

I cannot continue writing… actually, I only have one worry in mind. So I have to go where there’s room for more possibilities and chances… magis, as we call it in my alma mater. Whew! So if I were to sum it up, I'd say that the earlier we sort out the priorities in our lives, the better it is. With this, half of the probability of ending up happy, could be tired but productive  is already at a guaranteed 50%, I think.

And that's about it. It is always good to share. 


Till next time,
Zel

Sunday, March 13, 2016

26 Lessons Learned Through SOLO Travelling

Now that I am turning 26 and be facing a lot more life changing decisions, I give you the best of learnings learned through my 7days travel in a foreign country, South Korea.


1. Secure your dollar prior going to the airport or you'll find yourself get scammed (yes, I almost bought @50! Whew!) by the very people working in the airport. So prepare for your pocket money 5 days before the flight so you can still compare from different offerings. Note: You are buying $ when what you have is your own ccy BUT they will quote you with rate for selling. Yes, it is how business works. Most likely it is a 0.50 difference and buying is lower than the selling. So exchange with the lowest possible rate or get frustrated like me. ๐Ÿ˜‘ TIP: BDO may offer the lowest but you should have an account with them (w/c I don't have) and travel documents before they can sold you their $. So go for bank like EAST WEST, no need to be an account holder and just provide at least 2 IDs; OR with lesser hassle go for Western Union! They sell $ slightly higher by 0.20 vs. local bank rates. ๐Ÿค”

2. Prepare at least 1/4 space from your luggage because that space reserves for the ones you left behind. Hahaha 

3. Make it a habit to pack some snacks so you will not starve waiting for your flight in the airport. This will also save you from buying the overly priced snacks in the airport or in the foreign country you are staying.

4. Follow your guts. To put it simply, go for what you think is the best route when going back or to the airport of course back it up with couple times of research. You can't just be following what others have told you to do. 

5. Make a screenshot of your itinerary and a photocopies because gadgets may not be useful if it's dead right? 

6. When you are the type who shops aimlessly (like the one talking), bring only 3 day sets of outfits because you know, you want them badly to be worn! This is also a form of excuse that you are actually on a hauling! Haha!

7. Don't be shy to ask around for directions and to take your pictures. Make it brief and say your thanks (in their local language) afterwards.

8. Don't make a very tight itinerary that you have forgotten the very purpose of your travel, chill out/refresh/relax... Or you'll see yourself exhausted and disappointed because itineraries are not as always being followed. Ok? So chill. 

9. Find a hostel that offers slightly different from the others. My point? Look for what's not the usual breakfast (toasted bread and jam); Look for a hostel which offers free laundry and a hostel that loves and appreciates the reason why you're in solo backpacking because most likely they will be more accomodating. You can see that in the reviews of their ads in agoda and hostel.com

10. Take selfies with people. It will be a great experience if you can ask the people you've just met and who have been a good help to you for selca i.e., your landlady; roomates and the residents. 

11. Talk in their native language. Because that way they will not be intimidated by your english and/or accent when you're actualy seeking help so no matter how awkward it may sound -say your greetings first then continue your english then give your thanks back in their language. They will find it cute and COOL that you tried.

12. Get as much sleep during your stay because your body should also be set on a vacation mode. Sleep more than 8hrs.

13. Allot time in going to far places especially if that requires you to follow schedules. (This is more like a reminder for me)

14. If you take selca or video when others' are "maybe" watching, be confident! Stay shameless because it will be part of the unforgettable memories I tell you!

15. Stay connected with family and friends back home or even those not home. This will help you not to feel lonely in case you're self pitying since you don't have a companion. Remember, you are just away and technology is there to fill in the gap. 

16. Experience the ones you have researched to be awesome! Especially the FREE ones!

17. Give out some treats for the family and friends who have been your constant companion virtually while you were having a great time with your solo adventure. Spread good vibes!

18. Make a list of things you want to purchase before flying off to the foreign land! This will save you from hoarding so much.

19. Bring lotion. This I have forgotten during my trip like whattttt I may be using the popular CC Cushion but underneath my clothes it is all so dry skin. 

20. Kill time in a nice and trendy cafe. This is killing many birds with one stone because you get to pay for the drinks but you get to have wifi access/ alone time/ good air conditioning and a perfect place to take a picture. 

21. Make time for researching before you say goodbye to your country of residence. This will ease your fright on going solo.

22. Turn on your spotify and listen to your songs of choice. This way you may find friends in your dorm.

23. Prepare your outfits before sleep. This will already guarantee that tomorrow's itinerary will be a success with rainbow colors!

24. It is always customary to follow rules or *values set by the country/city you are in so OBSERVE the locals on how they  finish their food, do they bring to the trash bin and segregate the food wastes from the kitchenwares or do they take off they're shoes whenever entering a restaurant or a home. And if you aren't so sure, it will not hurt you asking anyone especially if your motive is to obey the their practices. 

25. Don't monitor your expenses on a daily basis because that would only turn into not so cool trip. Better if you can set a separate budget (which I mean in cold cash) for food ($10/day); accom ($10/day with free breakfast, yes this is possible in agoda!); transpo ($5/day) and for shopping and fees you intend to go to i.e., entrance fees to theme parks or museums.

26. Make the best out of it! Go YOLOING! 

Thursday, February 18, 2016

The Saturday Currently | 04 The unpublished since 2wks ago

What's this? Did I just broke my own words in my recent post? HAHAHA


Reading
The comments I see from the video clips of my now favorite Senator, Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano who is running for VP alongside Mayor Rodrigo Duterte as President. Which by the way inspired me to have the moment to write and just let all the feels pour because just like my VP, I sincerely just want what's best so like these people whom I have high hopes to better my country this also marks my start of campaigning for them through social media. I simply believed that if you have the political will you most likely will deliver. I love how they answer interview questions most especially the ambush ones, they really have thought about it hard because they are just the tandem who have that concrete plans and advocies that any Filipino can easily relate to. I mean, surely others may bring change but I doubt if it will be a big one
so I am going for the ones whom even way before 2016 election already made huge difference in their own cities (a.k.a. "exhibit", try vising Taguig and Davao and you'll know) and a must say, has already inspired people by means of their honest and sincere service to their oath to the Republic of the Philippines.

Let me share that I am not being honest when I shared this clip when I am just trying to win more people to vote for this men.

Writing
Something like "The Saturday Currently'.

Listening
"Last Request" by Paolo Nutini. Found this randomly in Spotify and I got hooked of course that I've been repeating the song for I don't know how many times.
I lost count. How can I, really!

Thinking
Been thinking what he wants from me? Since I opted not to read his private message just now which brings me from guessing what is it really because I changed by number a month ago then
he must have been trying to reach me through my old one but the sky must be not allowing things from making me bite into it since the wifi I am connectted is quite slow at this hour and I am into thinking that it must be something he needs urgently for him to even ping me on fb. But still I don't like to reply or even say my alibi because I don't owe him a reply.

Smelling
The take-out food my roomate, Erika is munching right now. So I want to change that and turn away because I can't be eating this late.

Wishing
With what just happened this week, I wanted to maintain again that happy vibe.

Hoping
I could love again. Because if that happened my goshhh my pamili... ahhahaha It will not be as innocent as it always been. It will be true and it will be the last, that's what I hope.

Wearing
My yellow pajama with cherry blossoms as its prints and I paired it with my loose grey shirt which has a low round cut. Maliit na bagay!

Loving
How energetic I was in this past week. I kept on fooling around and I came to a point that I just want to to... oops that was intended for the next point so shall we?

Wanting
I want to be bold with my decisions as I keep that zest for life which leads me to going after my bigger dreams. As far as you all know, I am happy. I am most of the time. But I want to think of others' as if it's also for my own happiness. Get me? Hahaha

Feeling
Meh...

Sunday, January 24, 2016

The Sunday Currently | 03


Reading
This!!! My new obsession, a webtoon which happens to be a drama series now in Korea. Happy to share you the link where I read the hit manhwa (term used in Korea for a mangga series) Cheese in the Trap.


Here's the pics of the actors who portrayed the roles of the lucky protagonist, Hong Seol and the misunderstood college senior, Yoo Jung. 

Writing
Making the extra effort to make this third installment (eh? Sounds like I'm making a movie to you right? Same goes for my ears too. Lol) of my Day Currently. Anyway, have I told you that just like Adele, I also believe in trilogy so most probably there'll be no currently in the future posts. Which by the way I know no one cares! Hahhaha

Listening
I am just switching from Can't Let Go and All I Ask of my new favorite, Adele! That being said, let me take the moment to play All I Ask again! This song has just the right feels of me, I mean she must have been going through life crisis I think~ oh well she's 25 after all and there's no excuse even if you're The Adele we know. So I italized, underlined and put it the boldest the lines where it was just profoundly raw on the feelings that if ever I see her on the streets of where I live (as if!) then I'm sure I am just dreaming but one thing I'll do if that happens... I'm just gonna run to her and hug her because this song is just so on point and for someone on her quarter life, she must be going through something painful to come up with this lovely song! This is how hit makers, geniuses pay the price for a grammy award, top billboard place and millions of views on youtube. These were just true deep words! Sing with me!!!~~~

"All I Ask"

I will leave my heart at the door
I won't say a word
They've all been said before, you know
So why don't we just play pretend
Like we're not scared of what is coming next
Or scared of having nothing left

Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
Cause what if I never love again?

I don't need your honesty
It's already in your eyes
And I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me
No one knows me like you do
And since you're the only one that matters
Tell me who do I run to?

Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
Cause what if I never love again?

Let this be our lesson in love
Let this be the way we remember us
I don't wanna be cruel or vicious
And I ain't asking for forgiveness
All I ask is

If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
Cause what if I never love again?

Thinking
Still how to spend the rest of life... Really, I am preoccupied with the things which I just like to do for now and turned out that I am avoiding the questions I don't have answers yet like when are you going to go? Where exactly? Have you even started preparing? And all that jazz... So let me for now do it my way even that would mean I'm procrastinating hmmmnnn allow me to get to the point where I would dare go for it with my own two feet. 

Smelling
My pillow. I don't want you to imagine but it's only been a week since I hand washed the cover so don't get the most stingy imagination. Hahahahah

Wishing
I can be done with procrastination because on a regular days, I wake up at 7am and even choose to stay in bed and get up the time I should be in EDSA and wait for a bus to come. And I am left with no choice but ride the taxi at 9am when I should be at the office already at that time. Whew! Wish me luck to get over this laziness! 

Hoping
That I'll be able to get up later at 9am so I can be at the salon by the time they open at 10 so I can still have so much time to prepare for Sunday church at Feast with my good friend, Dhet chingu! Hihihihi Sunday singles at 2pm! Hoping for a productive day ahead!

Here's what I want my hair to look like later...

Wearing
My Simon t-shirt from The Simpsons paired with my short from the football ECCP cup wayback 2012? (I used the same shorts when I wrote the recent "currently" post. Hahahaha sometimes it just happens!

Loving
Adele's All I Ask song if you still don't know. And just in, I am loving the carpool segment of The Late Night Show with James Corden!!! Can't help but admire his groove whenever he's just singing with the guest artist! He can't be outshined at all my gosh! Hahahaha I recommend the Stevie Wonder, Jennifer Hudson episodes and wait! Adele is on the latest so watch it puhlease!!! Hahahaha

Wanting
A vacation please somewhere I can catch up with right phase I need to be in by now that I I'll be making this biggest decision of my liiiiiifeeee! Ohhhh Where to go exactly?!??

Needing
More time to sleep, watch my favorite series and moments of silence for myself... I just can't pause without two timing that thing I am currently doing. You feel me there right? I think I am not alone in this when I say I am preoccupied with thoughts that worries me like the can't be stopped *future which also happend to be something we do not know. Ohhh so I  end it there.

Feeling
Weary and confused. 

Sunday, January 3, 2016

10 Things That Makes Me The Happiest "more than kissing"

Greetings Internet!

Today, I decided to make a list of (see title of the post) things I enjoy the most MORE THAN the idea of tereren... Kissing! ๐Ÿ˜˜ Because instead of dwelling to my hopeless singlesness for twenty five years in a row I like to present to you all the things that makes me forget of that unknown future, destiny that's happening right this moment. 

A little back story as to why I'm making this list is because I just have so much feelings for the past 2015 especially that I am now undeniably 25 and apparently experiencing the quarter life crisis like just anyone at my age so internet people, allow me to cope and get over by focusing on what's making me happy (aside from the male species and the idea of kissing ๐Ÿ˜…) and join me in realizing the sweetness of life as I write and as you read this first post of year 2016! 

1. I love ME time, where I can just cuddle up, in my pajamas, watch my flavor of the month's youtube channel, eat as much chips I want and fall asleep... ๐Ÿ’ค Simply a caveman! ๐Ÿ˜


2. Taking your bra off is just the best feeling after a long day! No picture of course!

3. A productive day. I know I am not the only one in this because may it be a well planned day or a spontaneous one I always feel like a wonder woman after a day full of finished on time deadlines or accomplished errands on a weekend. Tired but satisfied is the new thing I wish to be this year!

4. Attending FEAST as a non conditional thing to do every Sunday. I am away from my family and often times I have no company going to "the happiest place on earth" but I made it a habit to come to feast and join everyones lifted spirits in the 4pm session with Bros. Alvin and JC as its preachers. The series never fails to touch my heart that I never felt distant with my family at all.

5. Lamang loob. Or any "cooked" internal organs of chicken or pig. My eyes are forming hearts whenever I see dishes like dinuguan, higado, isaw, chicken/pork liver steak, chicken liver adobo... Name it I LOVE THEM!

6. Starting the day with my Chillz Coffee from Mini Stop or Coffee Shake from Family Mart. Reason why,is because I just have the habit of killing boredom in a traffic jam as I commute to work. Also I love my coffee very cold! Plus with Nata!


7. Fruit Salad on every occasion. I've been noticed by my family that I eat fast whenever a fruit salad is served in the table and I couldn't agree more because I want more in my plate! 


8. Korean Drama Series are just daebak!!! It's not unknown to you all that I am a big fan of love stories, Rom Com in particular (sorry we are talking again movies and Korean series I regularly watch) and one of the best part of any stories is kissing where they are most in episodes 12 to 15. Well, not just kiss from a frog but a true love's kiss from the prince charming who is nowhere near me now (let me wipe my tears, wait! Hahahah) but let me be in the mood to say, I am patiently waiting. 

9. Travel. The company of friends to a beautiful place is really priceless! Because every trip gives you different vibe of adventure and it is well spent with good friends. (Winks at my travel buddies-Nysh, Ylda and Dhet! ๐Ÿ˜‰

10. The grateful attitude. Aside from the realizations that "hey! I am blessed enough to be born in a already blessed family and even so, I managed to be the person my parents are proud of (i wish~) because I am independent now that I have a position in a reputable bank and somehow been blessing others through the course and this is just so great!" , I have no words to better say my thanks to the God I have appreciated more and more through the years so Thank YOU Lord! For always hearing me out and for allowing things I prayed for happen and I am still waiting for the ultimate goal you will soon provide because in You there's always answered prayers. I love you and again, salamat po!


xoxo~